Growing Pains
by spockapella
Summary: Birdflash Prompt: Wally is not dead, he was stuck in time for a year or two until he was able to escape somehow. Artemis will always love him, however, cannot return to him.


A/N: Sorry Artemis has dark grey eyes, forgive my lapse in canon!

Prompt:

Birdflash: Wally is not dead, he was stuck in time for a year or two until he was able to escape somehow. Artemis will always love him, however, cannot return to him.

* * *

"I still love you."

The words hung in the air, heavy and empty, like a broken promise.

"But I—I can't."

And he knew it too. He just didn't want to believe it.

Artemis dropped Wally's hand and he already missed the warmth of her fingers. He shoved his hands into his pockets to compensate.

"I'm sorry." Her voice had a rasp like the edge of a knife. It cut into Wally's chest with a sting. "I'm _so_ sorry."

He wished she wasn't. Sorry meant there was nothing she could do about it either.

"It's alright… Artemis."

She bit her lip and nodded, not making eye contact. "It's just… when you die-disappeared— I needed space, change. I'm—I'm not the same person you were in love with two years ago."

He swallowed; it hadn't _felt_ like two years. Not to him. Being in the speedforce had felt like a dream. An overheated, vividly colored nightmare. A nightmare where he had no physical body, but yet was still running somehow. It was like he could feel every molecule of him buzzing, and burning, and pushing onward. Not knowing where he was going, but not knowing how to stop either.

It had felt like hours, perhaps a few hazy days. Definitely not two years.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

Had her eyes always been this color? Deep brown and stained with sorrow from years of neglect. Neglect from her father, her sister, her mother—Wally knew he had been added to the list when he had been absorbed into the speedforce. Not intentionally, but that never really mattered when it came to heartache.

Wally was still pondering this long after she had held him and walked off. To cloak herself as Tigress, he knew, to suit up with the team and move on. She was good at adapting. She had to be.

Wally wished he possessed the same talent.

xxx

Dick Grayson was waiting for him when Wally returned to his parents' house.

Wally leapt when he turned on the light and found Dick leaning on his couch, waiting in the shadows.

"Dude!" Wally gasped. "You've _got_ to stop doing that."

Dick shrugged. "Old habits."

Wally shook his head, and removed his jacket a little roughly. He turned from the acrobat, hoping his face wasn't still puffy and red.

"Are you alright?" Dick asked softly.

"Am I alright?" Wally repeated. "Ha! Dick, I've lost my girlfriend, my college scholarship, my apartment— I don't know how I am supposed to get a job, where I'm going to stay, getting back into school, starting over—"

"Okay, stupid question," Dick sighed, pinching the crown of his nose.

"I was trying to do the _right_ thing," Wally pressed. "Why do I have to be suffering for trying to do what's right?"

Dick looked at the ground. "I dunno, Wally."

"Me neither," Wally said harshly. He moved to the couch and crashed upon it, laying his head back and rubbing his eyes. "I dunno… It makes me wonder—I don't know."

"Wonder what?"

Wally stared at the ceiling fan. "All the people I've hurt, all the things I've lost… Maybe I should've… should've _stayed_ 'dead'."

"Wally, no!" Dick snapped, he moved to sit on the couch next to Wally and took his hands. "No, no, no, don't say that."

Wally gave him a withering look. "It just doesn't feel like it's worth it, Dick."

"It _is_ worth it," Dick said, gripping Wally's hands so tightly his fingers turned white. "Anything is worth having you back."

Wally swallowed. "I… I… Anything?"

"Anything," Dick assured. "I—Never gave up on you."

Wally had never gotten used to how piercing Dick's eyes were. He looked at his feet. "Maybe you should've."

"Maybe I _couldn't_," Dick pressed.

"Why?"

"Because you wouldn't have given up on me," Dick said breathlessly. "Would you?"

Wally's throat went dry. He cleared his throat. "Never."

Dick pulled away, untangling their fingers. "That's what I thought."

There was a heavy pause, where all Wally could do was stare in shock at his oldest friend.

"I'm sorry," Wally's voice cracked as he broke the silence. "I didn't mean-I shouldn't have said that I didn't— I wasn't—I'm sorry."

Dick took a deep breath. "I know you are."

Wally bit his lip, wishing he could use words like stitches to make the tears on Dick's heart fade. But Wally'd never been good at comfort.

Dick looked at Wally, lips pursed. When he spoke his voice was hoarse. "Just—just don't make me lose you again, okay?"

Wally nodded. He scooted closer to the acrobat and reclaimed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I promise."

* * *

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